Asides

The Brand Handbook

Understanding your
Tagline

Taglines are the snappy little phrases that brands use to squeeze their entire personality into a bite-sized nugget. It’s like trying to fit a T-Rex into a teacup, but hey, we love a challenge! It’s like having a clever icebreaker at a networking event, a well-crafted tagline is your secret weapon to cut through the noise and make your brand unforgettable. It’s the difference between being a forgettable whisper and a shout that reverberates through the crowd.

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Embracing Values That Resonate:

Taglines are the snappy little phrases that brands use to squeeze their entire personality into a bite-sized nugget. It’s like trying to fit a T-Rex into a teacup, but hey, we love a challenge! When crafted with finesse, a tagline becomes the clever icebreaker at a networking event, captivating attention and leaving an indelible impression. In this article, we delve into the importance of tagline creation and the art of squeezing your brand’s essence into a bite-sized nugget of brilliance.

So, how exactly do you squeeze your brand’s essence into a bite-sized nugget of brilliance?

Cutting Through the Noise

In a crowded marketplace, standing out from the competition is a never-ending battle. This is where a well-crafted tagline emerges as your secret weapon. A tagline cuts through the noise and captures attention. It is the first impression, elevator pitch, and rallying cry of your brand all rolled into a few carefully chosen words. A memorable tagline differentiates you from the sea of forgettable whispers, transforming your brand into a shout that reverberates through the crowd.

Distilling Personality and Purpose

Creating a tagline is an art form that requires careful consideration and a deep understanding of your brand. It’s about distilling your brand’s personality, purpose, and values into a concise statement that resonates with your target audience. Take everything you’ve learned so far about analysing your brand’s unique attributes and defining its core identity. Consider the emotions you want to evoke and the message you want to convey. Then smoosh it all into a tagline that captures the essence of your brand and leaves a lasting impact on your audience.

For example, Disneyland’s tagline has been “the happiest place on Earth” for decades. This catchy phrase is simple and immediately speaks to everything the mouse stands for: whimsy, joy and global domination. 

Crafting Brilliance: Elements of an Effective Tagline

An effective tagline possesses certain key elements that elevate it from mere words to a powerful statement. There are four basic bits of criteria to consider: 

  1. It should be memorable—something that sticks in the minds of your audience 
  2. It should be clear and concise, conveying your brand’s core message succinctly. 
  3. It should be aligned with your brand’s voice and tone, reflecting its personality and resonating with your target market. 
  4. A great tagline sparks an emotional connection, evoking feelings that forge a lasting bond between your brand and its audience.

By distilling your brand’s personality into a bite-sized nugget of brilliance, you cut through the noise and make your brand unforgettable. So, embrace the challenge of tagline creation, unleashing the power of your brand’s unique voice. 

Looking to craft an unforgettable tagline for your brand? Unlock the secrets to creating a captivating and memorable brand message.

Email us at hello@theincubator.com.au to find out how The Incubator can help you develop a standout tagline that sets your brand apart from the competition.

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August 17, 2023

The Brand Handbook

Understanding your
Elevator Pitch

Picture this: You step into an elevator, and the person next to you asks, “So, what does your company do?” You have 10 to 20 seconds to make a lasting impression and pique their interest. That’s where the power of an elevator pitch comes in. It’s a concise and persuasive speech that showcases the essence of your brand, project, idea, or even yourself. Think of it as a mini sales pitch that can open doors, grab attention, and leave a lasting impact. With a well-crafted elevator pitch, you’ll be soaring to new heights in no time!

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Asides

In the vast sea of brands competing for attention, it’s crucial to have a clear and concise way of communicating what makes your brand truly stand out. Enter the elevator pitch, a powerful tool that allows you to distill the essence of your brand into a brief, persuasive speech. It’s the art of capturing attention, generating interest, and conveying your brand’s individuality in a matter of seconds. In this blog post, we delve into the significance of the elevator pitch as a vital component of brand guidelines. Discover why mastering the elevator pitch is key to defining your brand’s uniqueness, differentiation from competitors, and overall success.

The Importance of Boiling It Down:

In a world filled with noise and information overload, attention spans have become shorter than ever. Capturing someone’s interest and making a memorable impression within seconds is no easy feat. That’s where the elevator pitch comes in. It forces you to distill your brand’s essence and value proposition into a concise, compelling message that cuts through the clutter. By honing in on the core elements that differentiate your brand, you’re able to communicate its unique selling points in a way that resonates with your target audience.

Defining Your Unique Differentiation:

Crafting an elevator pitch requires deep introspection and a thorough understanding of your brand’s positioning in the market. It prompts you to ask critical questions such as: What sets us apart? What problems do we solve? What unique value do we bring? By answering these questions, you’re able to identify your brand’s unique differentiation and key selling points.

The Elevator Pitch: Your Brand’s Secret Weapon:

The elevator pitch is more than just a quick introduction or a sales pitch; it’s your brand’s secret weapon. It’s the gateway to capturing attention, sparking curiosity, and creating memorable connections. With a well-crafted elevator pitch, you have the power to leave a lasting impression and differentiate your brand from competitors.

In the realm of brand building, the elevator pitch plays a vital role in defining and communicating your brand’s unique differentiation. It’s the distilled essence of what makes your brand special, memorable, and valuable. By mastering the art of the elevator pitch, you equip your brand with a powerful tool that sets the stage for effective brand guidelines and ultimately leads to success in a crowded marketplace. So, embrace the elevator pitch and unlock the key to unveiling your brand’s individuality and differentiation.

Ready to craft an elevator pitch that makes your brand shine?

Contact us at hello@theincubator.com.au to discover how our brand experts can help you develop a compelling and impactful elevator pitch as part of your brand guidelines project.

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August 10, 2023

The Brand Handbook

Understanding your
Customer Avatars

Ever wished you could peek into the minds of your customers and know exactly what makes them tick? Well, that’s where customer avatars come in! Think of them as your secret weapon in the world of branding. These fictional characters represent your target or existing customers, giving you valuable insights into their challenges and pain points. By understanding them on a deep level, you can create marketing strategies that speak directly to their hearts (and wallets). It’s like having a cheat code to unlock the path to customer connection!

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Asides

What are Customer Avatars?

Picture this: You’re an artist creating a masterpiece, and your canvas is your business. But before you can even pick up your brush, you need to understand who you’re painting for. That’s where customer avatars come in. They are fictional, generalised representations of your target or existing customers. These characters embody the hopes, dreams, fears, and desires of your ideal audience. They’re like Sherlock Holmes meets Dr. Frankenstein, helping you piece together the puzzle of your customers’ minds.

Unveiling the Secrets: Why Customer Avatars Matter

Customer avatars are the gateway to unlocking the secret to customer connection. By delving deep into their psyche, you gain profound insights into their challenges, pain points, and aspirations. It’s like having a backstage pass to their thoughts and emotions. Armed with this knowledge, you can tailor your marketing strategies to resonate with them on a personal level. It’s the difference between whispering sweet nothings in their ear and shouting into the void.

The Creation Process: Building Your Avengers of Avatars

Creating customer avatars is an art form in itself. It requires a blend of creativity, research, and a touch of telepathy (we kid, we kid). Here’s how to assemble your team of avatars:

  • Investigative Research: Get your detective hat on and dive into the world of data and analytics. Study your existing customers, conduct surveys, and unearth those nuggets of information that reveal who they truly are.
  • Paint a Picture: Once you’ve gathered your intel, it’s time to bring your avatars to life. Give them names, ages, professions, and even quirky hobbies. Get specific and make them as real as possible.
  • Empathy is Key: Now that your avatars have identities, step into their shoes. Understand their pain points, challenges, and what keeps them up at night. What are their goals and aspirations? The more you empathise, the better you can address their needs.

Putting Your Avatars to Work: Marketing Magic Unleashed

With your avatars by your side, it’s time to work some marketing magic. Armed with a deep understanding of your customers’ hopes, dreams, and pain points, you can craft messages that speak directly to their hearts. Your content, social media posts, emails, and advertisements become laser-focused, resonating with your target audience in a way that feels like you’re speaking their secret language. It’s like having a built-in translator that turns heads and wins hearts.

Customer avatars are not just figments of your imagination; they are the guiding lights that lead you to the treasure trove of customer connection. By investing time and effort into understanding your customers’ challenges and pain points, you unlock the superpower to create marketing strategies that truly resonate. So, embrace your inner character creator, and let your avatars guide you on the epic journey of brand building. The possibilities are endless, and the rewards are beyond measure.

Ready to supercharge your brand's connection with your audience? Discover the power of customer avatars and how they can transform your marketing strategies.

Take the first step by reaching out to us at hello@theincubator.com.au. Our team of experts is ready to guide you in creating compelling customer avatars that drive results. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to unlock the secret to customer connection. Email us today!

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August 3, 2023

The Brand Handbook

Understanding your
Tone Map

Break out the red string and a corkboard (tin foil hat optional) as we’re going to do some mapping. A tone map is a way of figuring out how you talk to your customers. These guidelines create consistency in your brand’s communication, so that any communication sounds like it’s all coming from the same voice. 

For an effective tone, you need to understand what type of communication would best connect with your target customers. There are about four tone-of-voice dimensions you can plant your flag on, Funny vs Serious, Casual vs Formal, Irreverent vs Respectful, Enthusiastic vs Matter of Fact. Choose a position on each spectrum of those four sets of words. This will be a clear reference point of your tone of voice. Have you ever done a Myers-Briggs test? Same kind of framework, same fun combo of letters.

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Asides

Break out the red string and corkboard (tin foil hat optional) cause we’re about to do some mapping. Tone mapping, like unravelling a conspiracy theory, helps you decipher how to communicate with your customers effectively. These guidelines establish consistency in your brand’s communication, ensuring that every interaction feels like it’s coming from the same voice. Let’s dive into the world of tone mapping, exploring its importance, the key dimensions to consider, and how it can empower your brand’s communication strategy.

The truth is out there….

Understanding the Power of Tone:

An effective tone of voice speaks volumes about your brand’s personality and helps forge a connection with your target customers. To establish an authentic and relatable tone, it’s crucial to comprehend the type of communication that resonates best with your audience. There are roughly four fundamental dimensions that form the basis of tone mapping: Funny vs. Serious, Casual vs. Formal, Irreverent vs. Respectful, and Enthusiastic vs. Matter of Fact. It’s like a Myers-Briggs test, these dimensions provide a framework for defining your brand’s unique voice.

Decoding the Dimensions:

Funny vs. Serious: Determine where your brand falls on the humour spectrum. Are you inclined towards lighthearted and witty communication, or do you need a more serious and straightforward tone?

Casual vs. Formal: Define the level of formality that suits your brand. Are you comfortable with a relaxed and conversational approach, or does your brand exude a sense of professionalism and formality?

Irreverent vs. Respectful: Consider the balance between playfulness and respect in your communication. Do you embrace a bold and irreverent attitude, or do you maintain a respectful and considerate tone?

Enthusiastic vs. Matter of Fact: Assess the level of enthusiasm that aligns with your brand’s style. Are you a fan of exclamation points? Then you’d want a more energetic and passionate tone. If you’re here to provide info, then you’d adopt a more matter-of-fact and informative approach.

By determining where your brand lies on each of these dimensions, you create a clear reference point for your tone of voice. This framework helps ensure consistency and coherence in all your brand communications, whether it’s social media posts, website copy, or customer support interactions. It allows you to establish a distinct voice that resonates with your audience, builds brand recognition, and fosters trust.

The Impact of Tone Mapping:

Tone mapping goes beyond mere words; it’s about crafting an emotional connection with your customers. A consistent and well-defined tone of voice becomes a key differentiator in a crowded marketplace, enabling your brand to stand out from competitors. It creates a sense of familiarity and builds lasting relationships with your audience. 

A clear tone map also means there will be consistency amongst whoever steps into your marketing shoes. If you ever need the intern to make a social post, they know how to talk like your brand. 

Embrace Your Unique Voice:

Tone mapping is an ongoing process, requiring continuous refinement and adaptation as your brand evolves. Embrace your brand’s unique voice, experiment, and gather feedback from your audience to fine-tune your communication style. Remember, your tone of voice is an expression of your brand’s personality and values, so let it shine authentically.

Tone mapping is the secret to crafting a voice that resonates with your audience. By carefully considering the dimensions listed above, you can establish a distinct tone of voice that sets your brand apart. Embrace the uniqueness of your brand, experiment with different communication styles, and watch as your authentic voice forges stronger connections with your customers. 

Looking to establish a consistent and captivating brand voice? Dive into the world of tone mapping and learn how to create a unique tone of voice that resonates with your target audience.

Email us at hello@theincubator.com.au to find out more about how The Incubator can help you master tone mapping and elevate your brand’s communication strategy.

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July 27, 2023

The Brand Handbook

Understanding your
Brand Positioning

Brand positioning describes how you are different from your competitors and where you sit in a customers’ mind. It’s the unique value a brand offers their customer. Why would someone want to go to you, over someone else? It’s like a dating profile, what qualities would make someone want to message you over the other fish in the sea? 

Your brand positioning statement should resonate with your customers, actually be deliverable by your brand and set you apart from the competition.

An easy way to figure out your brand positioning statement is to summarise it in three words, such as  “vegan, traditional & feminine”. Try to be as specific as possible, let’s find your niche. 

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Asides

In the vast ocean of competition, brand positioning is the art of differentiating yourself from competitors and carving a unique space in the minds of your customers. It’s like a dating profile, what qualities would make someone want to message you over the other fish in the sea? In this blog, we’ll dive deep into the concept of brand positioning, its importance, and how to craft a compelling positioning statement that sets you apart from the competition.

Finding Your Unique Position:

Brand positioning is all about understanding the unique value that your brand offers to customers. It’s what makes you the go-to choice, the one that stands out from the crowd. Just like a dating profile needs distinctive qualities to attract attention, your brand positioning should resonate with your customers and differentiate you from others in the market. Just like in the world of dating, standing out from the crowd and finding your perfect match requires a captivating profile that sets you apart from competitors. It’s all about showcasing your unique qualities, highlighting what makes you special, and appealing to those who align with your values and aspirations

Crafting a Powerful Positioning Statement:

An easy way to figure out your brand positioning statement is to summarise it in three words, for example: “vegan, traditional & feminine”. Aim for three impactful words that capture the essence of what you offer.  The more specific and tailored your positioning statement is, the better you can find your niche in the market.

Setting Yourself Apart:

A well-crafted brand positioning statement not only resonates with your customers but also reflects what your brand aims to deliver. It sets you apart from the competition and showcases your unique value proposition. It’s your opportunity to shine and attract customers who align with your brand’s offerings and values.

Brand positioning is the key to establishing a distinct identity in the marketplace. It’s about showcasing the unique value you offer. Treat it like a dating profile that highlights your best qualities: craft a powerful positioning statement that resonates with your customers, reflects your brand’s capabilities, and sets you apart from the competition. Embrace your niche and watch your business thrive in the sea of possibilities.

Want to stand out from the competition and capture your audience's attention? Master the art of brand positioning and create a unique value proposition that sets you apart.

Email us at hello@theincubator.com.au to find out more about how The Incubator can help you define your brand’s positioning strategy and attract your ideal customers.

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July 20, 2023

The Brand Handbook

Understanding your
Brand Values

Passion, hard work, whether or not you like pineapple on pizza. Brand values are a set of uncompromising principles you will uphold as your business grows. They are a set of ideas that are truly important to you and remain a constant guide going forward. 

Think of concepts you could stand by, that you actually believe in. If words like integrity, quality or diversity appeal to you, ask yourself why and make sure your brand can uphold that value.

Brand values are how a company sees itself, even when nobody else is watching.

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Asides

Passion, hard work, whether or not you like pineapple on pizza. Brand values are the uncompromising ideas that truly matter to you. These values serve as the guiding principles that shape your company’s identity and decisions as it grows. 

Embracing Values That Resonate:

When crafting your brand values, it’s crucial to consider concepts that genuinely resonate with you. If words like integrity, quality or diversity appeal to you, ask yourself why and make sure your brand can uphold those values. These values should align with your personal beliefs and become the foundation upon which your brand stands.

The Pizza Principle:

Just as pizza toppings reflect personal taste, brand values reflect the essence of your business. Choosing the right words for your brand is like selecting ingredients that you can actually sink your teeth into. Sure, Hawaiian is a classic choice, but if the thought of sweetness on a savoury pizza makes you queasy, then skip it! Don’t order anything you can’t commit to devouring, and don’t pick values you can’t uphold.

There’s no one-size-fits-all recipe here, just what feels right for you. Whether you’re a pineapple aficionado or a staunch traditionalist, it’s about finding the right combination that resonates with your taste buds.

Guiding Your Business, Even in the Shadows:

Brand values play a vital role in shaping how your company sees itself, even when nobody else is watching. They serve as a constant reminder of the principles you hold dear and guide your decision-making process. Upholding your values consistently strengthens your brand’s integrity and fosters trust with your audience.

To continue the metaphor, if you say you have vegetarian options then you better be able to break out the vege-rama pizza, rather than telling someone that they can just eat the garlic bread. Your audience trusts you to uphold these ideals, internally and externally. 

Brand values should reflect the core principles that matter to you and will shape your decision-making as you grow. Your brand values are like the perfect pizza toppings, a delicious blend of ideas that are uniquely personal to you. Let them define your business’s identity and serve as a constant reminder of what truly matters. Uphold your brand values proudly and watch as they shape the success and integrity of your brand.

Looking to infuse your company with meaningful values that resonate with your audience?

Email us at hello@theincubator.com.au to find out more about how The Incubator can help you define and integrate your company’s values for maximum impact.

Let’s embark on this journey together and create a brand that leaves a lasting impact.

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June 28, 2023

The Brand Handbook

Understanding your
Brand Mantra

Your brand mantra is a short statement that expresses the core of what your brand represents and the image it seeks to put out into the world. It goes beyond a simple tagline or catchphrase; it’s a call to arms that ignites emotions and evokes a sense of purpose.

Can you sum up all those feelings, vibes, and dreams in a mere few words? That’s not a rhetorical question, to make your statement you have to distil your brand into a concise message that sets you apart from the competition.

Don’t settle for words that sound good, get honest and do your research. Think about your function, audience, and desired emotional impact, then narrow it down to a laser-focused message. There’s your brand essence, your mantra, your magical incantation that leaves everyone spellbound.

READ THE BRAND HANDBOOK

Asides

Your brand mantra is a crucial aspect of establishing a strong identity. This statement expresses the core of what your brand represents and the image you want to put out into the world. It’s a call to arms that inspires others to connect with your brand. Let’s crack open the grimoire and explore the process of crafting a spellbinding message that leaves everyone captivated.

Understanding a Brand Mantra
At its heart, your brand mantra is a powerful expression that conveys the soul of a brand. It is a callout that sets the tone for your brand and defines its unique character. The aim is to create a powerful and memorable message that resonates with consumers.

Nike, for example, uses three words as their brand mantra:

“Authentic Athletic Performance”

This mantra emphasises the authenticity of the brand and creates emotional associations, you can practically see the fit people running on treadmills when you hear those words.
Sum up all the feelings, vibes, and dreams your brand wants to evoke in others, then smash them together into a concise statement.

How Do I Do That?
Crafting a compelling brand mantra requires honesty, research, and introspection. It’s about going beyond surface-level buzzwords and getting to the heart of what your brand truly stands for. Here are some steps to help you create a mesmerising brand mantra:

  • Dig deep: Reflect on the purpose and values that drive your brand. What is it that sets you apart from the competition? What are the core beliefs and principles that guide your business?
  • Know your audience: Understand your target audience. How does your brand align with their values? What message will resonate with them on a deep and meaningful level?
  • Craft your story: Use the power of storytelling to create a narrative that engages and inspires. Tell the story of your brand’s journey, its mission, and the impact it aims to make in the world.
  • Stay true to yourself: Ensure that your brand mantra aligns with the core essence of your brand. It should be an authentic representation of who you are and what you believe in. Don’t chase trends or try to be something you’re not. Embrace your unique identity and let it shine through in your brand mantra.

The Impact of a Powerful Brand Mantra
A well-crafted brand mantra is integral to brand recognition. It has the power to ignite emotions, inspire action, and forge a connection between the consumer and brand. If a customer was asked to sum up your brand, you hold the power to shape their answers by providing a simple and compelling brand story.

Ready to discover the essence of your brand and create a captivating brand mantra that evokes emotions and inspires others?

Email us at hello@theincubator.com.au to find out more about how The Incubator can help you uncover the true essence of your brand and craft a powerful brand message that sets you apart.

Let’s embark on this journey together and create a brand that leaves a lasting impact.

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June 28, 2023

// INCYMI

December 2022

Welcome to the party, pal. This month every ad is competing to be the most heartwarming; and we’re reaping all the benefits. Get into the spirit of the season and catch up on all things Christmas with our December issue of INCYMI. Break out the feast and put on a holiday flick, or just try to guess every Christmas movie featured in our header!

  • John Lewis
  • Lottery
  • J&B
  • Boots
  • The Petspiration Foundation
  • Subway
  • ALDI
  • Hello Fresh
  • Kraft & Juicy Couture

John Lewis continues their stranglehold on your heartstrings this Christmas with The Beginner, the story of a new foster father finding a way to bond with his new daughter. It’s a simpler tale than their usual fare, but no less touching.

You have a higher chance of being hit by lightning seven times than winning the lottery, but you have an even slimmer chance of finding love on a crowded train full of miserable commuters. But this year’s Lottery Christmas ad will have you believing in the possibility of both, as it follows the story of a missed love connection on a train. Enjoy the weird experience of weeping over the lottery.

J&B just released She, a holiday ad telling the story of a grandfather experimenting with makeup before a family gathering. Look, it’s probably pandering for a whiskey company to use a story of transition unrelated to their product, just to get you to break out the tissues. But in the tradition of Christmas movies, the pandering works damn well.

You’d think you wouldn’t be able to get emotional while Hall and Oates is playing but Boots, the UK health and beauty company, has found a way with their fun, adorable Christmas ad. A pair of magic specs gives a woman the ability to see what those around her want for Christmas.

Just when you thought you could escape the Christmas ads with your Grinch-like tendencies intact, The Petspiration Foundation has deployed cute dogs. The charity uses their Christmas Project initiative to provide assistance animals to those in need. Their emotional ad spotlights the impact pets can have on people who need them the most, via a little girl’s selfless wish list.

Subway is tackling holiday loneliness with its new Christmas ads, probably because you’re never more alone than when you haven’t rehearsed what sauces you want at the sandwich bar and there’s a queue growing behind you.

Welcome to the Thunderdome, sponsored by your local grocery store. In the hilarious new ALDI holiday campaign, politeness becomes a bloodsport as two women are determined to be the one to offer the final prawn at a Christmas lunch.

HelloFresh has released a super cute holiday meal kit inspired by the classic Christmas flick, Elf, offering Buddy’s signature dish: chocolate and maple syrup spaghetti. While we’re still not fully convinced this would be appetising, there’s no kid that wouldn’t lose their damn minds over the chance to make this meal.

It seems there’s more than one way to spice up the holiday driving, as a digital billboard in Brisbane was recently hacked and started broadcasting pornography. The billboard was shut down after a few minutes, but given its location on one of Brisbane’s busiest roads, it’s probably safe to say the advertising did its job and reached a fair number of eyeballs.

Like the terrifying concoctions of a mad scientist, Kraft Mayo has been combined with Juicy Couture. The condiment brand has collaborated with Juicy to create the kind of outfit sane individuals left behind in 2005. Featuring a blue velour tracksuit with “Smooth” replacing the iconic “Juicy” on the back and a white velour tube top boasting “Mayo Couture,” this flashback to the aughts is now available for pre-sale. Get in loser, we’re going shopping.

Did you know in Washington, it’s illegal to harass a Sasquatch? LegalShield has released a new series of ads bringing to light some of the stupidest laws in America, but the fun kind, not the depressing  gun control and corruption kind we make fun of them for. The ads serve as a handy guide, should you ever end up in an X-File and need to worry about legal representation.

Extra, extra!

Read all about it!Check out our latest INC news and views.

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December 18, 2022

// INCYMI

October 2022

“It’s time. It’s time. Time for the big giveaway. Halloween has come. All you lucky kids with Silver Shamrock masks, gather ’round your TV set, put on your masks and watch. All witches, all skeletons, all Jack-O-Lanterns, gather ’round and watch. Watch…”

Must be the season of the witch, as advertising turns to all things halloween for inspo this month.

  • Paramount
  • Smile
  • Reebok
  • Upwork
  • Deepfake Tech
  • Blush
  • McDonalds

First to jump on the spooky bandwagon, Paramount launched a terrifying guerrilla marketing campaign for their newest horror flick, Smile. The film sees the protagonist stalked by an entity pretending to be other people smiling at her throughout the film (but menacingly, not in a positive feedback kind of way). To give viewers the full immersive experience, actors were hired to stand in the background of sports games and smile maniacally at the camera, freaking the living daylights out of both horror fans and sports audiences alike.

Coming to you with a dose of real retro 80s-style Satanic Panic: Reebok’s new shoes are accused of being the work of Satan and a possible harbinger to the end of the world. According to the kind of people who don’t get invited to family gatherings anymore, these shoes are designed to mimic the hoofed feet of a demon and will bring about the apocalypse, rather than the more likely design inspo of traditional Japanese Tabi.

Freelance marketplace Upwork has turned to Halloween for inspiration in their new ads. To show the old way of working is dead, their new tv spots have featured a singing zombie, because this is a thriller, thriller night, and no one’s gonna save you from the beast that’s about to strike.

Speaking of seeing dead people, Bruce Willis has become the first actor to sell his likeness rights to deepfake technology, allowing a deep fake of himself to be superimposed over another individual. The ethics of this technology has been a topic of discussion in Hollywood recently (aka uncanny-valley Peter Cushing in the new Star Wars) but for an actor who has recently announced illness is forcing him to retire, this technology could be, as Willis puts it, “a great opportunity to go back in time.” (Or, to keep earning an income long after your physical body has passed Hollywood’s unforgiving use-by dates).

In 1981, speculative zoologist Dougal Dixon released After Man, a futuristic encyclopaedia showing horrifying illustrations of what creatures may exist 50 million years after human extinction. To mark forty years and no change in humanity’s compulsive desire to destroy itself, Breakdown Press has released an expanded anniversary edition, showcasing our future inhabitants in all their creepy, terrifying glory. I, for one, welcome our new overlords, Vampire Bat-Chicken and Squirrel-Snake (Squake).

There’s an unofficial rule in horror cinema that you can kill as many people as you want, but you can’t kill the dog. We all know products featuring a cute bunny logo equals cruelty-free, but it turns out if a company can’t make it through the vetting process, they’ll often put a “fake” cute bunny on their products anyway, to imply a level of animal kindness they may in fact be utterly lacking. Turns out, technically there’s nothing actually stopping anyone from putting cute bunny symbols on their products, PETA approved or not. Check out how to spot the bad bunnies here.

Lets play another game of spot the difference: After-Dark Edition! Because social media sites can have strict policies about advertising sex products, Blush, an adult entertainment store in Iceland, hid their toys throughout the interior photos of a real estate listing. Creating a series of photos that appear to be kitchen appliances or décor and upon closer inspection are… not those things.

Like putting on a sitcom after a horror movie, here’s a break from all the spooky news. When Sweden reopened after lockdown, the waitlist to get married at city hall became fully booked for months, so McDonalds offered a solution: drive-thru weddings. Over sixty couples were married in one day, driving up to an officiant and leaving with a special happy meal. Apparently they can give you a legally binding document, but not an Egg McMuffin after 10am.

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October 21, 2022

// INCYMI

August 2022

Come with us if you want to live, as we’re witnessing the beginnings of a technology takeover. Advertising is taking steps into sci-fi and trying out new things this month. Oh brave new world, that has such robots in it!

  • Midjourney
  • Pacsun
  • Meta
  • Coca-Cola
  • Street's Ice Cream and Dusk
  • Bethany Cordwell and Officeworks
  • Amazon
  • BBDO Canada and Muskrat
  • Russia
  • The Right Stuff

Setting the design world alight with the fear of God this month is Midjourney, an artificial intelligence program that creates fun new art from textual descriptions. AI has been used to make concert posters, magazine covers and even visions of the future. While there’s a genuine worry this program is coming for our jobs, the sunny side is it’s a tool like any other, and learning how to talk to it is a skill in itself. It’s also going to change depending on the user; in our case, when in the hands of someone with a penchant for retro science fiction, the result is our INCYMI header: a vintage comic-style group portrait of the office.

Pacsun has entered the uncanny valley with the new face of their brand, a virtual model. Not content with real women and their tendency to have thoughts and minor physical flaws, Miquela, a ‘virtual influencer’, is tiny, without imperfections and eternally nineteen. The decision to hire the robot was apparently because she aligns with their “core brand values and vision,” which is understandable, when a computer’s writing your thoughts.

The same cannot be said of another AI, as Meta’s new chatbot BlenderBot 3 took only one week to become racist. The chatbot is designed to evolve its language, based on the conversations it has with users, and was only up and running for a few days before it started repeating right-wing propaganda. This is not the future Star Trek promised us.

Coca-Cola has released a new flavour that’s supposed to taste like our dreams. Coke’s Dreamworld has the “technicolour tastes and surrealism of the subconscious”. There’s no information yet as to how Coca-Cola plans to harvest the taste of our collective dreams, but we assume it’s something along the lines of pretending to eat and drink during a toddler’s imaginary tea party.

For a flavour palette a bit closer to home, Street’s Ice Cream is teaming up with Dusk to make a line of candles inspired by some childhood favourites. The new candles come in Bubble O ‘Bill, Golden Gaytime, Paddle Pop and Splice. This is Calippo erasure and we won’t stand for it.

Beyonce’s most recent album was released with a collection of futuristic, disco-inspired album art; featuring a groovy monochrome bodysuit by Brisbane designer Bethany Cordwell. The materials come from an unusual source, however, as the designer has revealed the bodysuit’s black and white scales are made from cut-up Officeworks document folders. So head to your local stationary store to steal Queen Bey’s new look: confidence and groovy disco-ball horse not included.

To advertise their new series based on A League of Their Own, Amazon has spelled out an empowering letter to female athletes using 30,000 baseballs. A nice opportunity to hit a home run for equality, and other knock-it-out-of-the-park-style metaphors.

BBDO Canada and the Indigenous arts and culture magazine Muskrat, are raising awareness of calls for justice for missing Indigenous women by going after the biggest whitewash of Native American history; Disney’s Pocahontas. The actual story is far more horrific than the Disney version, and what happened to Pocahontas—whose real name was Matoaka – still happens to Indigenous women and children today, with homicide the third-leading cause of death. The Missing Matoaka project provides an alternative commentary track for the film, to clear up the facts and point out where Disney veers into fantasy. Stick it to the mouse.

Regarding lying to viewers, Russia’s latest tourism ad is optimistic, to put it nicely… or, some might say, straight up propaganda. The controversial new ad lists the country’s positives as “cheap gas, beautiful women, no cancel culture, traditional values and vodka!” While tourism ads tend to paint a rosy picture of their destinations, it’s hard to ignore the very real presence of a fascist dictator and an ongoing war. It’s also worth noting those same ‘traditional values’ being exalted in the video led to Russia decriminalising ‘domestic violence that does not cause serious injury’ in 2017.

New proof being single isn’t the worst thing that could happen to you has just dropped, as conservative anti-“woke” dating app, The Right Stuff, has announced it will go live in September. The invite-only right-wing app is exclusively for straight people. The only gender options are “lady” and “gentleman” and there are “no pronouns necessary” (he and she are also pronouns, but this is an issue for the education system). A further concerning aspect of the business model is that only men are required to pay for subscriptions. Well, as the saying goes; “If you’re not paying for it, you’re the product being sold.”

A North Queensland newspaper has gone viral after a disgruntled woman took out a full page ad, publicly calling out her cheating husband. This serves as proof print media really is irreplaceable, as no Instagram callout post will ever beat this level of drama, or unpaid media coverage.

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⸻ Latest

August 30, 2022

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